My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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