Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
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