so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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