My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
