question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
