Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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