I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
The air taste purple.
Randomize
