This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
