you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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