uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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