Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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