I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
