this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
so let's talk penis.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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