we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Randomize