Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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