I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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