is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
