just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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