I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
