lets start a swedish sibling band together
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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