We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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