I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Randomize
