That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Operation Purity has been aborted
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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