Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
