You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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