The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
