I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
