Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize