Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize