4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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