i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
