too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
