I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
That's intense
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
