Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(540): View more from Virginia

you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.

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(818): View more from California

Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?

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(614): View more from Ohio

Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?

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(708): View more from Illinois

Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"

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(705): View more from Ontario

i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND

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(218): View more from Minnesota

So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.

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