By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
