I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize