discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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