Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
only you would photoshop your dick
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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