my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
