just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
