She said her name was "party"
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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