I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize