I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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