how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
