Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i dont even know how to be here
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Randomize