i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
