i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize