So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
