I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
