I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
