Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
