This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
