well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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