Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
