yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
