So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
