I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
