dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize
