My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I think a kid would responsible me up
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I'm bleeding and have questions
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
