for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
