i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
