YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize