my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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