He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
