so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
