Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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