I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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