He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
