you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
