ya dads aren't the best wingmen
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize