I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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