it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
